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Intro to Apologetics for Grandparents

Written by Ian McKerracher Legacy Coalition Canada

Good day. I am your friendly neighbourhood Christian apologist. I am also a grampa (my grandkids call me “Poobah”). I think these two businesses, apologetics and grandparenting, should be added to each other, making the whole partnership greater than the sum of the parts, something like a marriage when it is done right. The second title I mentioned, that of grampa, is one that is familiar to everybody; the first, not so much. I want to introduce apologetics to any of the the grammas and grampas out there who are unaware of this toolbox so you can use its tools to fulfill our collective mandate of passing our faith on to our grandchildren.

      I understand I am mainly speaking to Christian grandparents. Congrats on making it to that rarified height of living long enough to be of some significance to the kids of your children. God knew there would be people like you and so included the likes of us in His instructions in the Bible. You find examples at Deuteronomy 4:9 or Psalm 103:17. Did you know that you are a Bible Character?  

      I know I am also speaking to INTENTIONAL Christian grandparents. (I know you are out there!) That is because of the ministry of The Legacy Coalition that supports us in our quest to pass on our faith to our grandchildren. I became familiar with the Legacy Coalition when I went to a Grandparenting Summit, put on by the Coalition a few years ago. At the time, I was a representative of an apologetics organization and they wanting to know what was going on in that field. I was the obvious “old guy” and was happy to comply, signing up to be an attendee at the livestream at a local church. I was blown away by the content of the speakers and their commitment to intentionally share the Gospel with their grandchildren.

      I was also impressed and encouraged by the resources they make available to do exactly what they say they do, that is, to come along side the Christian grandparent and help them have significant conversations with their grandkids and to overcome the barriers that get in the way of accomplishing that singular goal. You can find the store where all this stuff is at https://legacycoalition.com/ or, for the people that live a little more north on the temperature scale, https://legacycoalition.ca/

      They also have events throughout the year, to which I have availed myself. There is the aforementioned Summit. Next year it is a big deal because it is the ten-year anniversary of the inception of the ministry. It’s gonna be good times! Look for information about that here. They also put on “Grand Camps” every year where the grandparents take their grandkids to camp for a weekend. I have attended one of them as a volunteer, and came away entirely blessed. This year I will be attending with a couple of my grandsons and am looking forward to their blessing to be at least as great as mine. Check it out in the website, along with the collection of great books (some published in-house), various doo-dads, and video series to give vision, practical advice, and encouragement for grandparents wanting to take their grandkids to heaven with them.

      But enough of that. I still need to introduce you to apologetics, the other title I carry. You may have heard about the term before. I hope to dispel any misunderstandings about it because there has been some bad press about apologetics in Christian circles to date. When the word comes up in conversation, many Christians, including some pastors, get a mental image of formal debates, contending for the Truth in a highbrow institutional setting. They believe it is just for egghead intellectuals and has little significance outside the hallowed halls of Academia. I get that. There is a whole slew of YouTube hours given over to those types of formal exchanges, where some university holds a debate between Mr. Superstar Christian and Mr. Superstar Atheist, in a verbal tussle to find which worldview describes reality.

      But that is not the purpose of the street-level Christian Apologetics. Apologetics was born in the pages of the New Testament. The Apostle Peter, in his first epistle wrote, “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15 ESV). The word in that passage translated as “defence” is “apologia”, which gives apologetics its name. It has nothing to do with being sorry for your faith, as some surmise. An apologist is someone who prepares themselves to answer questions that people may ask in everyday conversations. Being prepared is, I believe, a very godly thing to do, well represented in the New Testament. I think of Paul on Mars Hill speaking to Greeks and quoting Greek poets to them. He must have spent some time preparing to do so. And Peter, in the passage quoted above encourages us to be ready. Apologetics brings intentionality to our preparations.

      Bearing in mind that we are encouraged to have good answers for the hard questions, we also have, according to Peter, the admonition to use “gentleness and respect”. The good answers are the content and the attitude of respect is the delivery. These are the two elements of any transfer of knowledge. One other reason that Christians reject the apologetical approach is there are too many apologists with good content that dies in the presence of a bad attitude. Hitting people over the head with the truth is seldom successful in turning their minds towards the Lord. You would know that if you have an obstinate adult child. They do not respond to your bid to control them anymore, do they? No, Truth is the cousin of love. It picks up the family trait to be patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4) from its close kin. Truth needs to be put in the language of love to help the spiritually downtrodden to rise up again. (Ephesians 4:15-16) Remember Intentional Christian Grandparents, this must be applied to your words whenever you speak to your grandkids AND to your adult kids. It is important!

      What does conversational apologetics look like up close in a friendly exchange? It is popular, these days to hear a person saying, “There is no such thing as truth.” The apologist can ask curiously (and not accusingly), “Hmmm… Is that true?” A loved one can say, “I am unsure of what I believe anymore.” The apologist can ask (gently, of course), “What do you mean by that?” or “Why do you believe that?” and turn the comment into a conversation. Notice these responses feature questions, lots of questions. Questions are the salve that dulls the hurtful barbs in our retorts.

      The goal of street-level apologetics is to have a pleasant conversation, smuggle in a gem of truth as a precious stone into the mind of our conversational partner, and leave the door open for further socializing. Look for the long game in your exchanges. You don’t have to knock it out of the park at every opportunity.

Above all, lather them with the love that will be grace to them. Don’t be so quick to give your side of the issue. Keep your opinions to yourself. Ask your questions. Let them talk. People like to talk about themselves and we should allow them to share their heart. They may not remember what you said, if anything, but they will remember how you made them feel. That is being like Jesus with them. When they have a question or need help with a concern, it will be the person who does these things who they will turn to when they have difficulties. And, if you prepare, you may even have an answer for them. Even if you don’t, you will know where to look for one.

So, Grandparents, it is on you to prepare to have conversations with your grandkids that are unforced and natural. You can do this, even at a distance over Zoom. You can influence the spiritual temperature of the extended family by the use of your spare time in preparations and by an intentional commitment to love.

More to explore

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Grandpa, Tell Me a Story

Grandpa was never in too much of a hurry to talk to me. He was a godly man who taught me in practical ways.

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