Written by Roger Massey, Friend of Legacy Coalition
Wouldn’t it be great if parenting and grandparenting came with an instruction manual? (Not that we would actually read the instructions.)
- Your 6-year-old grandson has no interest in sports. Turn to page 13 to find out why.
- Your 16-year-old granddaughter isn’t talking to you. Turn to page 34 to find out why.
A few people have written instruction manuals like this, but many parents and grandparents have found them lacking. No two kids are the same or deal with the same circumstances, so no two kids will respond the same way, no matter what method we use. And even if we did everything right (which we don’t), kids have free will and often choose the wrong path.
So what are we to do? The Lord offers us help in the Bible. No, He hasn’t given us a step-by-step instruction manual, but He’s given us something even better — His perfect example to follow. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! (1 John 3:1).
So, if God is our Father (and He is, once we’ve trusted Jesus Christ as Savior), and if God is love (and He is), it makes sense to look at God’s love to find out how to be loving leaders of our children and grandchildren.
God has given us a list of exactly what love looks like in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. It’s a lot to digest all at once. There are probably a few things on the list that will really grab you and make you realize you have room to improve. As the first point states, our heavenly Father is patient. He doesn’t expect us to be fault-free or become exemplary parents or grandparents overnight. However, He does expect us to be disciplined to grow in what we know.
Pick one attribute of love from the list and concentrate on it for as long as it takes to become a habit. Then pick a second attribute. It won’t be long before you find yourself living in God’s strength most of the time.
| Love is patient | Don’t respond with anger, even when deliberately provoked. Remain calm, even when disciplining. |
| Love is kind | Seek ways to benefit your grandchildren unconditionally. Work in a child’s best interest regardless of how they respond. |
| Love does not envy | Don’t seek to take any credit away from the children. Rejoice when your grandchildren succeed. |
| Love does not boast | Don’t focus attention on yourself or feel superior. |
| Love is not proud | Don’t use your grandchildren to boost your own self-esteem or standing with others. |
| Love is not rude | Remember your grandchildren are watching, so behave in a way that sets a good example. |
| Love is not self-seeking | Don’t put your own priorities or interests above those of your grandchildren. |
| Love is not easily angered | Remember that you were once young and made your share of mistakes and went through your own rebellion. |
| Love keeps no record of wrongs | Don’t hold grudges. Don’t demand payback for wrongs, but forgive completely. |
| Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth | Don’t be happy about the misfortune of your grandchildren. Don’t put them down or meanly tease them for their mistakes or weaknesses. |
| Love always protects | Provide a strong foundation and a constant haven for your grandchildren in all their struggles and challenges. |
| Love always trusts | Assume the best of your grandchildren. When they sin, discipline in love, but when there is any doubt, respond with grace. |
| Love always hopes | Hope for the best, even when your grandchildren are making poor choices. Respond positively. |
| Love always perseveres | Keep on loving even when your grandchild is failing constantly or actively rebelling. |
| Love never fails | Keep on doing these things. Keep in mind how often you fail to live up to God’s standards and how God always responds with grace, then model that love to your own grandchildren. |
We can’t be perfect, but by seeking to reflect God’s love into our grandkids’ lives, we can be good parents and grandparents. And we can point our grandchildren to their perfect Heavenly Father.
